We Fucked Up: Ashley's Journey

I've always been an obsessive person which is a big reason why I have an issue with over eating. When I find something I enjoy and have a goal in mind I go for it with everything I have. That can be a really great trait when done right. It has helped me be successful in my career, family, and build the home of my dreams. But it is also what has caused me to gain weight, and when trying to lose weight become obsessed and overdo it to the point of injury or mental and physical exhaustion. Essentially, it isn't sustainable.

In this particular instance, this is what caused me to injure my back. I ended up with a bulging disk in April of 2021 which took lots of rest, chiropractor visits and time to reduce the pain and make it manageable. When it happened I had to lift my left leg up with my arms to move it because I wasn't able to move my leg at all from where the bulging disk was hitting so hard on my nerve. In fact the doctors wanted me to have back surgery but I was committed to getting better another way. 

Because of this I got depressed. I wasn't able to do the things I wanted. I had to go slow, not a lot of walking or working out and started getting back into a sedentary lifestyle. 

With the next phase in my journey I know I have to make a plan that allows rest and recovery without jumping back into my old habits of obsessive behavior. The best way for me to do it is by creating a daily planner and knowing exactly what I need to do each day.